Friday, September 16, 2005

[[friday sadness]]

i think i am not enough
i think i am not deserving
of your everlasting love

i know i've been unfair
i know i'm selfish
i know we are not a perfect pair

i have been such a fool
of taking advantage of you
and the sweet things you do

now, i am left behind
and i cant take you off my mind
don't know what to do to turn back the time

i can feel you leaving me
your hands slipping off mine
i don't know where i would be
with out you in my life, baby

by: jez @ 2:48 AM


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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

[[a tiring yet adventurous one]]

I had a tiring, yet adventurous weekend. Last saturday, right after work (at around 6:00 AM), my boyfriend and i went to our place to prepare for our scheduled jogging.. We were planning this one since last month but we were so busy and this is our only free time to do this. I know I am not a sporty type of person. The only sports I enjoy are chess and badminton. So we went jogging for like 1 and a half hour. Angel and I both enjoyed jogging and just walking around - enjoying the beautiful houses and the smell of fresh air. It's been like 4 years since the last time i jogged. Haha it was a bit embarassing but it's ok.. I'm glad i was able to test myself and damn, I just realized how weak I am.. Actually, my boyfriend told me that we should do this every week to keep me healthy. After jogging, we both played basketball and I believe that's the reason why my arms are in so much pain right now... I was able to shoot 5 hoops after several tries.. Haha and it's so nice to see him play basketball once again.. Basketball is like my boyfriend's twin.. He loves playing basketball but because of work he has not time playing.. He's great in playing basketball; I still recall when we were in the same college and I was watching 1 of his games. Wow, I was so impressed to see him play and he gained 33 points in that game. So, after 1 hour of playing ball, we went to our place to prepare our things. He dropped me off to our house in Makati.

The next day, i was not feeling well and my whole body is aching... so, we decided to stay at his place to watch dvd. We first went to Ruins to buy some pirated dvd's and we bought "Hide and Seek" and "Guess who." Then we went to 711 in BF to buy some snacks.. I didn't enjoy the film especially Hide and Seek. I really wanted to see this film but i was so disappointed after seeing it.. It was a bit weird and there's no thrill in it.. So we didn't enjoy.. After the 1st movie, we went to the kitchen and cooked corned beef with egg. Cooking with him is fun! We were both fighting of who will cook the what.. Haha

Then we watched the second film, "Guess Who." It's a comedy film, an ordinary comedy film.. I didn't enjoy the movie as well, but not as much as i did in "Hide and Seek." I was so happy at that night.. No fights and everything is fine... We were just teasing each other and playing with each other.. We were like kids playing anyhting.. Haha And we are both pretty excited for next week, cause we're gonna go shopping! Yahoo! Can't wait... I am just hoping that everything will be all right for the both of us and that things will gonna go the way we want it to be.

by: jez @ 1:28 AM


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Monday, July 25, 2005

[[weekend has ended...]]

it's the start of the week again... i hate mondays... mondays give me a sad feeling and i cant wait for weekend again... it's the only time for me to do the things i fail to do every weekdays such as watching dvd, play computer games (except when i play counter strike at the loft), watching movies and hanging out with my angel..


this past weekend, i was so happy... last saturday, i slept at my angel's place, because he cannot drive me home to makati feeling sleepy and tired. After having breakfast, we went to his room to prepare to sleep... after watching tv and telling funny jokes of ourselves, im not yet feeling sleepy at that time, so i asked my angel to tell me stories before i go to sleep... he told me a very romantic story... "the story of our lives." -how we met, how we used to text each other, our first date, our first dinner and our first kiss.... awww it's so sweet to reminisce and take a look at your past, together with your loved one... after that, we slept... at 6:30pm, his mum woke us up, telling that he should bring me home coz it's getting late... we both had a good sleep...


sunday afternoon, we spent the time at my place, playing cards (pusoy dos and tong-its) while my cousin was formatting our pc. Our pc had a problem and we haven't bring it to pc express yet. Hope this coming weekend, we will be able to. At 8:30, angel and i went to paseo de roxas to play counter strike... we were planning to do that since friday and we really had fun! wow i felt so great beating my boyfriend in counter strike! haha the last score, as far as i can remember, i was ahead of him for 10 points, 36-46 was the score! i was really happy at that night, and i bet he is! he'd better be! haha and now it's monday again, can't wait for the weekend to spend more time with my angel again... and ofcourse with my family... i only get to see them every weekends...

by: jez @ 11:40 PM


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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

[[my cursed birthday]]

my birthday had just passed... can't believe im twenty... actually, with my birthday, i was quite disappointed with what happened... i was expecting that angel and i would go to some place special, but it didn't happened... well, i guess my excitement and expectations lead my birthday to be (not a horrible one) but a simple one... i really hate my birthday... i don't know, but im just hoping the days ahead would be a bright one for me... :)

JULY 07
(thursday morning)
angel and i had a big fight :)

JULY 09
(saturday morning)
when i went home, i found in my bed a gift... it was a gift from my mom and i really liked the skirt she gave me! Thanks mum! and while i was sleeping at 8:30 pm, my mum and my little sister surprised me and woke me up with a chocolate cake (my favorite) with a candle on it... but before i blew the candle, of course i made a wish...

JULY 10
(sunday afternoon)
my angel bought me a pair of sandals, it was simple yet expensive... believe me, it wasn't worth the price, but that's him! as long as it pleases me, he'd give it away with just a snap! We took our dinner at pizza hut and damn, my tummy gave up!!! with that, i can call it a horrible night! i spent almost 30 minutes at the toilet of pizza hut, struggling and in pain...

my birthday was cursed! and i got nothing to do but to give myself a sigh...

by: jez @ 3:46 AM


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Saturday, June 25, 2005

[[it's so hard]]

i am changing myself for you
for you to like me more
i cannot do anyhting new
scared of you hating me more
i am keeping my feelings inside
can't tell you that you are hurting me
the pain and my tears, i hide
i do not know how to let you see
i am trying to be better for you
for you to love me that's true
it is so hard for me
but it is meant to be
you do not know how i feel
you do not know what i see
but still,
i am trying to be a better me
my heart is crying
without you, i am dying
i am falling...
but you're not here to catch me
oh, what do i do
i keep on pressing myself to you
it is so hard...
but this is meant to be
it is hard...
but this is meant to be...
i guess this is all meant to be...

by: jez @ 3:09 AM


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Friday, June 24, 2005

[[im in need of...]]

i am so much in pain right now... nobody knows it but me... no one understands... i feel so alone... i don't know what to do... i am hating myself for letting people hurt me... and now, i got nothing to do but to breakdown and cry... i don't know what have i done to deserve this pain... i need someone to comfort me right now, to make this pain go away... even just for a moment, i want to be loved... i feel so weak right now and my heart can no longer endure these sad thoughts... i feel so sad... i feel so alone...

by: jez @ 5:30 AM


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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

[[you & me]]

by lifehouse



what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up
and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

all of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

there's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
everything he does is beautiful
everything he does is right

by: jez @ 3:54 AM


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i Am...

         


rEcEnt jOUrnaLs

-05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
-06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
-07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
-08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
-09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005

mY bLaCkbOarD

bLOg dOOrways

>> Heart Of Enigma
>> Blast Of Craze
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>> Interview With God
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